Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
