you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize