Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
