he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize