So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
