i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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