on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
