Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize