time to smoke my breakfast
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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