Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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