State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
