Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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