Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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