everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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