I hate your face
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
