There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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