there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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