She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
