I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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