Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
