I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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