The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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