I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
