i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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