I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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