Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
