I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
