Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
