I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize