Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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