Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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