You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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