I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
