it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
