out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i think i just lost a toe
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
