She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I still have a little drunk in my system
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
