There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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