Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
