you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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