I've blown a few things in my day
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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