just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
so much tequila, so little girl.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
