i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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