I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
