haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
