your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
only if we run a train.
done.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
