On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
only you would photoshop your dick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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