Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
