Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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