Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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