I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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