If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
