if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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