erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize