I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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