it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
