How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
