It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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