My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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