What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
