how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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