I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
