took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize