Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
