Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize