Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
