I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
wow bdsm is so cute
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
