im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
