your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
