that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
