I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
