Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
