and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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