'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
