I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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